We are in an epidemic of singles who believe some version of:
* there is something wrong with them because there's no relationship
* no compatible partners exist for them
* they are too picky
* they will be alone for the rest of their lives

The truth is:
* There is a lack of viable relationship models and SKILL sets
* There ARE healthy, single, available, vibrant people of both sexes
* You CAN learn to see and attract them
* There is no such thing as being too picky
* What you think you want may not be what you want
* You do not have to be alone for the rest of your life
* You do not have to wait years for the right person to show up

There is something you can do. Learn how to attract a great partner,
and build an outstanding relationship. Put yourself in relationship
school by hiring a relationship coach or join a "Single and Happy"
relationship coaching group. Schedule a free-intro coaching session
to find out about both of these, and see what you can learn about
your relationships.

Your Hook

Are you happy with the kind of potential partners you attract, and
with how the opposite sex reacts/interacts with you? For example, do
you attract people who are only interested in flirting, or sex, or
casual dating, but never in a relationship? Do members of the
opposite sex have the same reaction to you over and over, such as
visibly feeling intimidated, perhaps challenged, etc.? Do these
reactions make no sense in light of who you know yourself to be? Do
your friends say you change around the opposite sex?

If any of the above is even remotely true for you, you need to learn
about your hook. The hook is a trait or quality you put up front to
represent you to potential partners. It is the thing you offer in
the dating marketplace - your billboard, your advertisement. It is
the thing the opposite sex sees about you first and foremost. It may
be a set of behaviors, mannerisms, speech, dress, etc. that you are
completely unaware of. And, it may very well be getting you the
opposite of what you want.

What is your hook? You may be unaware of it, but you can still
figure out what it is. To do so, answer these questions:

* What is it you think you have to offer that the opposite sex wants
most? Sex, money, care-giving, having it all together, being fun,
something else?
* Who do your friends say you change into when you are around the
opposite sex?
* What personality do you put on when getting ready for an evening
out?

Now that you know what your hook is, you may want to stop using it
to attract partners. Instead, learn how to be yourself in potential
partner situations. Here is how to stop using your hook and be
yourself instead:

1. Figure out what your hook is, and de-emphasize it in your
behavior. If your hook is your sexuality, change your dress and how
you carry yourself. If it's money or power, play down these
advantages.

2. Stop trying to impress potential partners. Have you ever formed a
deep friendship by impressing someone? Relationships start on the
same basis as friendships, and being impressed is not a guarantee of
friendship.

3. Practice bringing out and emphasizing all sides of you. Get good
at being all of your different aspects while in a dating situation.

4. Don't turn on your charm to attract and keep potential partners,
but instead turn on to your self. Turn on to how magnificent you are
as a human being even with all your imperfections, needs and wants.

5. As you meet people and spend time with them, come from your self.
Be honest. Say what there is to say for you.

Who knows, you may get lucky and meet the person who wants you for
all of who you are!



What's your hook? Go ask five friends right now if and how you
change when around the opposite sex. Then, consider that you could
attract a great partner without ever using your hook again.